creating all the time

2001Vientiane

Consciousness creates all the time. 

They say: We are children of a creator

I picture a stream like a fountain spouting forth. 

The stream can't stop, it keeps moving, the water emerges. 

The only choice I have where I direct this stream....

If I direct it to fear, then I create more of what I fear. 

if I direct it to positive, I create positive.... 

I read this recently: 

Whenever the feeling comes over you
that you have no choices
I urge you to call a halt to everything.
This is a trick you play on yourself
to avoid having to assume 
the responsibility and therefore the joy
of life

Wow!!! That is tough stuff. 

And YES! it makes sense. 

I can see how I DO avoid the joy of life. 

In telling myself I  am powerless.

In giving myself 1001 reasons why I can't do something.

In making myself small and helpless (so that I have no choice against a BIG POWEFUL other)

and so it goes on and on.... 

hm....

hm...... 

hm..................mm.....................mmmm..................

The same guy goes on to say

Envision instead, what it is your truly want.

Test it. Be careful of this, my friends, 

because if you envision something quite casually 

and do it with conviction,

even though you may not be sure you want it,

it will manifest.

This is neither magic nor false hope. 

It is the reality of the power

of your creative impulse.

This is why it is so important to develop

self-awareness to the depth of your ability

so that no creation can come about in your life

without your having made the choice. 

You have designed your life yourself.

You have created nothing in your outer reality

that is a stranger to you.

The inestimable joy of human manifestation

is to see around you

in what seem to be outer circumstances

what you truly believe as a soul.

Look at your physical manifestation as a symbol

and view your body as an extension o your soul,

to spoken word of your being.

Your life is not your master,

It is your child     from: Emmanuel's book.

I've suspected as much. 

For some, like myself, who take pride in how harsh they are with themselves, this could give more fodder for self recrimination.
But in the end that is just avoidance. Guilt and self-recrimination does not create anything positive.

I know all that, but that didn't stop me...(much):

"Oh my gawwwwd you mean, I'm responsible for the mess of my life arrrgaaaggggg NOoooooooooooooooo!!!" 
Not like that, don't take the writing like that.

It's more like a toddler learning to walk. She falls. She gets up, takes some nice steps, falls. Does she sit and beat herself up about falling ? Well I guess she could, but being a toddler, she's a lot smarter than a grown up, so she has a cry (or not) and gets up and does it all again... until one day she can walk....
and.... run
and.... dance
and.... "_____________:-)"

The challenge is to face the joy, the reality of life. 

I never realized that reality and joy were linked to responsibility. 

In my childhood brain I associated fun and joy with freedom from responsibility and constraints. 

Looks like it does not work that way.... 

hm..........

you create your reality... really ?

"Your create your own reality"

I hear this a lot these days and it did not really make sense until I thought about it a bit deeper.

On the surface it sounds silly: Ok let me think about being wildly successful and rich, - kapow... I wave my 'you create your own reality' wand and there I am, a famous author, speaking around the world, writing books, giving workshops etc.... .

Well not quite. Because deep down I don't believe that kind of scenario. It simply does not feel right, does not 'gell' for me. Similarly all those 'think rich and you'll be rich' things, they might be right for others, but they don't resonate with me, deep deep down I feel I'm just faking it.

But then when I took it a few levels deeper it seemed to make more sense.
When I look back on my life I find that I somehow seem to end up in the same - or similar - situations. I don't mean to do it deliberately, but it kind of just turns out that way.

In my case I tend to be the 'outsider' the 'maverick' the 'clever-and-knowledgeable-dude-who-is-treated-unjustly'.

After a bit more introspection and soul searching I realized, that on some deep level I felt more at home in that role. I felt this was my place, the place I belonged, where I would naturally gravitate towards.
In other words: my Core Being was calling out and magnetically aligning the iron filings of my life to cast me into the role i was most comfortable in.

At that level, I can accept that i DO create my life situation (lessons).
It also shows me just how powerful the Core of me Being really is.

But that deep Core Being inside me, I cannot simply change it at a whim. It is strong, deep, heavy, and powerful.
My momentary, mental whim is but a small aspect of the core. It would be like trying to change the path of the Earth by jumping up and down.

So how do i change it ?
Just by trying ? - well yea, that's a good start, but not enough.
Then I remembered all the books I'd read, the long conversations I'd had about 'inner work'.
Ok now I get it.
To change my Core Being I need to work at the level of the Core Being.
The Core Being is ME, is the CORE of ME.
The only way I can see to change that, to change myself, is to grow, to evolve, to transform, to take the next steps from within the Core Being and move forward.

This is very much how a seed grows. You can't change the acorn seed into an Oak tree by force of will or decision, you let it unfold its own inner Core Being, its very essence and nature.
And then you get an Oak Tree.

This is a slow, long process.

I've not made any great changes yet.
But it is a lifetime's work.... step by step by step, by step, by ste..., be st...., by s....., by ......, .b......, ....... ;


5Aug09