Sunday, November 08, 2015

trying to fit myself into 'the box'

Trying to squeeze myself into the box: judging myself 'bad' when I can't make it
Usually I squeeze myself into the socially acceptable box, of the ideal person
Social ideal person

when that does not work I judge myself as bad, pathetic, wrong, deficient, and I try harder.
It never occurs to me that actually I don't know who I am, what I truly want, and what my own energies are.  
I just assume I know all that. 
And if I am not the ideal person I think I ought to be, then it's  because I'm not trying hard enough, I'm not good enough. 

Social ideals are simple: heaps of money, good looks, admired by all, super smart, innovative, 'green', + whatever the current fashion is....
Can anyone really meet them ? 

So we try harder. 

Actually we can both, 
we can put a bit of our energies into the social role, but not all of it. 
If this is me:
full energies
it won't fit into the small ideal. 

What to do ? 
respect each reality, the social as well as the greater being I am. 
Neither try to be all one or the other. 
Middle path, 
easy ? 
Possible ? 
yes like learning to ride a bicycle....