Thursday, August 11, 2016

Dream navigation

"Do this.
Do it that way.
Come here,  
go there,...."
I fit into normal life  and flow with  it.
And as long as I am  happy to be a  part of the river and flow along all is fine.

But one day  I want to do something different, I want to change the river, flow in a different direction, do different things.

But I'm in my river, where I grew up all  my life. .
Now things get interesting.
How do I change my life  ?

"Don't be silly, the flow you are in too strong, and you are looked after, all is fine, you are comfortable, - go back to sleep and 'flow....'" I have said to myself  
And  for a while  I  did,  I went back to sleep.

But I am more than my mind, I am  a child of the Universe, and there is a whole Universe to  explore, infinite worlds,  which  call me.
Sitting fearfull in my comfortable cave,  becomes harder and harder as the sounds  and smells  of the summer outside call to me.

I want to follow the deep urging inside me.
I can no  longer flow with things as I did before, I now want to go a different way.

I have tried going to sleep but it does not work anymore.

So,  I try to change things.
I complain a lot.
         It doesn't work.
I fight with the flow.
         It doesn't work.

I carefully build a new life, step by step.
That does work, but it's very very tedious and slow, and I get exhausted.

It must be my fault, I am  defective, I need to fix myself.
I  spend a few decades doing that.
          it doesn't work.

"Say YES, accept."
the Guru tells me.
I do that.
I feel better. - for a while.
but soon I'm asleep again....
but the ache to move, to grow, to see the wonderful world out there.... wakes me up.

I am awake, I long to move, to leave this flow to move in other flow. to feel the flow of the wind on my skin, to fly like a bird, to soar and dive and sail and turn - to float and glide over the forest.

I look up from my river to see the bird fly above, I've never noticed them before. I never really looked up before.

Try as a I might, I simply can't leave the river. I'm too heavy, I'm afraid and I don't know HOW to leave.
"There is a million  steps between you and them", my friends tells me, "we are safe here, float with us..."
And I do.
For a while.
Then I turn over on my back and I look up, I see them fly high above us, soaring and gliding on the wind.
Do they notice me ?
Is there even one of them who wants to float here with me ? Like I want to fly with them ? Up there ?

I dream of flying like them, floating up there, on wings, gliding in the rising air, smelling the flowers of the forest.

I can almost feel the air rushing past me,  the call of my friends flying beside me.

I CAN feel the air on my wings.
I AM up in the air.
Far far below me, is a river, flowing through the forest. Fish swim in  it, and I see a flash of silver, as one of them jumps out of the water turns over and looks up.

I remember now,  once upon a time, a long time ago, I floated in a river, swimming with my friends.

"We navigate the Universe by dreaming"