Sunday, September 26, 2010

too much computer work, how to cope sitting in front of a computer all day

RMIT 2008
found a really workable way to work with computers and a break reminder such as WorkRave:

I set the reminder to 15 mins, 1 minute break. That's the easy part.
When it goes off I don't want to have a break, I don't want to get up and I don't want to move. I'm in 'computer state' of mind.

BUT: if I actually DO get up and do some real exercise, not just stretching or wandering off, but real solid exerise, such as push ups then it makes a difference at the end of the day.The key is that the exercise is 'vigorous' intense, and really uses muscle power.

At the end of the day of doing work like this I feel 'with it' alive, not zonked. I feel like I've done a good day's work and feel pleasantly tired, not tense and stressed from computer stress.

The combination of physical and mental is the key.
When I'm in front of a computer, the last thing I want to do is step out of my mental state into the physical, but if I do, and if I do it regularly, the payoff is fantastic.
It does take discipline.
It does take kindness to myself, when I don't do it .... when I say "Ah...I'll just skip it this ONCE...." - again...
But with patience I get there.

Such a simple method.
Why didn't I get this earlier?

PS: I use my mind very intensely all day in front a computer, I guess it makes sense to balance that with vigorous physical muscle power.

For those not familiar with break reminder software: It is a small program that reminds you to take a break at regular intervals. You can set how often it reminds you.
The idea is to prevent Repetitive Strain Injury (RSI) of the hands and arms.

By doing this vigorous exercise I found it goes beyond just preventing RSI, I actually feel better and less stress at the end of the day. 

Workrave is at: it's free, and open source, meaning you can take the code and change it and customize it.

Friday, September 24, 2010

the woman in the corner

No one noticed the woman in the corner.
She sat in the back of the restaurant and kept quiet, still. There was something about her that made you overlook her. It was as though she was part of the décor.
Then she stood up and everyone in the restaurant stopped talking at the same instant. Without knowing why, as if by random chance everyone just happened to look at her.
She smiled.
Her smile open and gentle.
People smiled without thinking and then turned back to keep, eating, drinking and talking.
No one noticed a young woman with all black eyes leave a minute later.


Thursday, September 23, 2010

meaning -position & perspective. ---o--- the ONE point

the ONE point of BE-ing

meaning -position and perspective ---o--- the "S" series

S-Series - meaning and perspective

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

meaning -position & perspective. ---o--- the "M" series

the " m " series - 13 = B = union of the 12

Monday, September 13, 2010

do I want real reality ?

David is given the choice: To continue his life of suspended animation, dreaming and experiencing a perfect life in which he is with "Sophie" the girl of his dreams or to return to his body and his real life.

In his real real life he is injured, a survivor or a car crash, his face is twisted and mangled and then restored.
He is in pain, and Sophie has left him.

Macau Kwann Imm Temple 2010
The choice is: go back or stay in suspended animation ?

Is this not the choice i have every day ?

The movie was called "Vanilla Sky" Tom Cruise & Co...

Friday, September 10, 2010

inside outside view - greed

Drawing 2003 Haiko

"Make hay wile the sun shines."
I was simply looking after my needs, putting aside for 'the hard time of winter'. What's wrong with that ? Everyone does that, it's commonsense after all. 
So I grabbed what I could and as much as I could carry. 

It was only when I looked at myself from what an outsider would see, that I realized, it looked greedy. 
When I was honest with myself, I realized: it WAS greedy.
I was surprised.  
It didn't feel like greed to me at the time.
I was just looking after my needs. Giving myself some TLC...looking after my needs......taking care of myself....being kind to myself, ...having what I deserved...

Hmmmm... How could this happen ? 
I had never seen any sign that said "Slow down, you are now entering the Greed Zone."
Greed works only in the world of ordinary affairs. To venture into that terrifying loneliness of the unknown, one must have something greater than greed: love. One needs love for life, for intrigue, for mystery. One needs unquenchable curiosity and guts galore. 
— Don Juan Matus  (as in: Carlos Castaneda) 

2004 HR
To the greedy person what they feel is NOT greed. They feel a great need, a great lack that they are filling. They feel a great hunger. If you are hungry you eat. Simple. Natural. 

Words like "greedy" are a label we use when we look at others.
It's not a word we use when we are INSIDE the feeling of greed. 

Words are by  their very nature something that requires a degree of 'outside perspective'. 

That greedy person simply FEELS a feeling --- a desire for something --- a need. 
They are simply defending themselves from the ‘wolf at the door’, from the threat of lack, from loss....
from the uncertainties of life etc... . 
They might feel justified in providing for their family....
But the point is: they do NOT feel the label GREED, they feel a feeling.

So how will that person know they are in the clutches of feelings of greed ?
The short answer is: They won't if they don't want to know  OR  they will if they want to... it all depends on the 'intent' the attitude the direction they are looking in. 
           They will feel opposition from the outside world, they will feel the judgment of the outside world.
At that point they can look within and view their actions, feel the truth in their hearts and choose.

More outside pressure and judgement, "don't be greedy", "don't be selfish" usually does not work. 
Most people just dig in harder because they feel the pressure the threat of an invasive force on them and the natural reaction is to resist that.  
They do not understand that what others see in them is greed.
Ultimately the choice has to be their's. This kind of thing cannot be forced by outside pressure. 

I’ve spoken about greed as an example, but it is the general principle I want to illustrate.
The principle of inside VS outside realities.
Two realities...........................more on this in future blogs...
2003 HR

medical empowerment - connecting to yourself

One day Joe Bloe goes and sees the doctor. "Your cholesterol is too high, you need to do this and that and take these pills. Oh and you should cut down on stress, smoking and relax more."
"Your blood pressure is too high.... .... take these pills..."
"Your blood sugar levels are outside the normal range, better take this ...."
Mrauk U Myanmar July2010

At this point Joe has a choice.
He can view his body as a kind of machine and the doctor as a mechanic who 'tries to fix it'. 
He can view the diagnosis as a sign that something in his lifestyle, body, consciousness, emotions is out of balance. 

If  Joe sees himself as a machine then he will remain reliant on outside intervention and specialized equipment to give him feedback how his body-machine is doing. (Note: there is nothing wrong with this view). 

If Joe works out what aspect his body, lifestyle,  consciousness, emotions, is out of balance then he can start to make changes. He can use the external specialized equipment to give him feedback about how well his changes are going. 
The required changes may be simple, such as  cutting back on whatever he is eating, drinking, or doing too much of - or the changes could be deeper, connecting to his emotions and feelings and underlying attitudes. 

Lets say that at some point as Joe looks at his deeper feelings and makes changes. 
His readings come back into the normal range. 
Eventually he will find that he works out the connection between his lifestyle, attitude, consciousness and intent and the blood pressure, and cholesterol readings. 
He finds a connection that is intuitive,  feeling and practical. He will start to know when he is going outside the limits of what is good for him. 

This same principle is used in biofeedback devices, i.e. giving the person a way of connecting to an aspect of their being they were not able to connect to otherwise. 

There is no point blaming the medical establishment, in the final analysis it is Joe's choice in how he reacts. There is a lot of pressure to view things in ONE particular way, sure, but isn't there in every aspect of life ?  :-) 

Even more importantly: there is a temptation for Joe to blame himself for being sick, for not getting better. 

        Lets say Joe Bloe does find the imbalance in himself, his furious temper gets better, he genuinely relaxes, and yet his cholesterol and blood pressure don't change. 

This really frustrates him. 
Then he suddenly realizes: There is another level of awareness he needs to look at: how he treats himself. 
Can he forgive himself for being what is he is NOW ? for being sick ? 
Can he accept himself for being ill ?
Sometimes this acceptance can be the greatest healer of all... 

Authors note: That is one of the biggest lessons of all.... at least I have found it so. Not sure I've got anywhere near mastering it yet... :-P 

Thanks to many many friends, long conversations over the years, and people I can't all name,.... Vilayphone, Phoenix, Nok, Emmanuel, my father Fritz  Rudolph for being sounding boards for these ideas.

Myanmar 2010

Sunday, September 05, 2010

Manipulating the Universe ?

I'm asking myself: Heiko, why use clever tricks, or repetitive spiritual practices to cajole and try to manipulate life ?
Would I relate this way to a lover ? to a friend ? to another human ? I can if I want to and I will get an appropriate response i.e. at the level of manipulation.

Macao 2010 Graffiti park

Why don't I try an experiment ? Relate to life as I would to another human being ? - as I would to a wiser, loving human being ? (hm... Ok .... I have trouble with the idea of 'wiser and more loving' so I'll keep it simple for the moment and relate as to life as as a lover, as a friend)
I won't use clever methods and tricks.
No self flagellation, no beating up of self.
No grovelling.
No intimidation or tantrums (well some will slip through I guess)
No stupid bargaining ... (you know what I mean, no glass beads, no silly crap.). 

In my experiment the core of the Universe is alive and living and hears and feels and knows (more than I can, but I'll stick with it at a level I can relate to for the moment)

So, why not just talk to life ? Only my belief limited me. 
Now I believe, truly believe, that life hears. No I don't hear voices, but life responds in her/his own way...
I guess this is what people have called 'prayer' - but I'm not going to  repeat mantras, I'm talking, as I would to a friend.  talking includes intending... includes directing thoughts and questions....

There are other ways to relate to life, and each way is fine withing itself. 
It is little like science: 
Science can be used to 
1) look at the natural world to get stuff done, make things work (by Engineers like myself), 
2) to enjoy the mystery of if all. 

In the first way: we to look at the Universe as a kind of sophisticated machine.We dive in, work out this and that and come up with machines to save effort, computers, world communications, drugs, flying devices called airplanes, pesticides, fertilizers, guns, hospitals, anaesthetics... etc....
But we are looking with the intend of 'using' it for our purpose. To achieve something, to make better medicine, better computers for more money, better guns to better intimidate, better hospitals to rehabilitate etc....
This first way is a valid way to look at the Universe, it gets results.
It works in its own band of reality.

But in the second way we go to a deeper level.
We look at the Universe as a person.
Some people do this already , RA goes in this direction. But he still talks about the 'core being simple' or the 'core being lazy'
I want to suggest going even further.

The core IS ME.
The core is who I AM.
At the deepest levels I cannot sit and decide my goals, my goals have decided and created me. 
I am here, thinking about them because they called me forth.
From the meeting of an egg and sperm I came out of ... where ? the Bardo ? the non physical realities... to be here, physically alive... and I will return when my trip has achieved its purpose... .
Part of that purpose is for me to figure out CONSCIOUSLY what my conscious purpose is.
The purpose is already there, consciously working it out is my task. 

Yet the deeper truth is: life is not ONLY something to be manipulated, to be figured out, to be dived into in a scientific way to find the method of achieving ...wealth, business, love, etc....(sure do all that... but don't forget the other side)
Life is a living being. The closest we can come to it is: other human beings and animals.
To relate to life in a way that is mechanical, or to figure out things in a way that is impersonal tunes into those impersonal aspects of life.

And yes, of course, those who say to be realistic, are right too. 
I need to be true to the mechanical laws of physics to the realities of the world... 


All the particles of the world
Are in love and looking for lovers.
Pieces of straw tremble
In the presence of amber.


Results of the experiment: 
- the way I treat myself is the way I treat the Universe, is the way I treat others... its all one thing...

love seems weak and namby pamby, but it is stronger than anything in the Universe- how is that ?

All the particles of the world
Are in love and looking for lovers.
Pieces of straw tremble
In the presence of amber.

A friend just sent me this poem.
Macao Lighthouse 2010 - "Leal Senado"

it made me think about 'love' or "lerve"  as we say (cynically) in Oz.

I have heard that one of the greatest errors in thinking is the idea that power, violence, fear, anger and force are stronger than love.
They are not.
But I think they are.
I often think of love as weak, puny, being taken advantage of, stupid, silly, too nice...naive, being a sucker...
but that is not the love that holds the Universe together.(or is it ?  :-)

The Universe is not held together by fear and force and threats and violence.
(Well ok, parts of the human Universe might look like that is the case, but that is Human doing)

So what is this "love" that holds the Universe together ?
The love that does not yell and scream and force me, the love that gives me freedom and choice ? - (also allows me to be unloving)

As I live my life, I bump into REALITY, the love, the reality of existence. That reality is .... well how to say it ? - it is: 'real'!
It has a shape, it is hard, and it is soft.

It does not yell and scream and threaten me, but it is real.
I choose, I live, and somehow life touches me, the reality of it hits me... what is it that hits me ?
I reap as I sow, that is one reality. It is not something I can bribe or manipulate... that is IT. That IS the reality of life... one aspect...there are many many more... and in the core of it: it is love.

It is not violence, it is not anger... it is..something else...

I suspect: it may be part of the core of myself.... the part that is more than my conscious mind. ...
The part that cannot be understood by mind alone, the part that has to be felt.
That has to be experienced.

Saturday, September 04, 2010

.. the one foot after the other experiment..... OR too much planning kills joy

what if I was sure that I would achieve all my day's work
but that I didn't have to stress about it ? 
I will achieve everything I need to do during the day, as long as I simply do the thing that is next in line.
As long as I take the next step and it IS the next step (not avoidance or running away). 
Sure, plan things but let the plan stay lose and flexible.........

A lot of my energy is wasted in trying to adhere to some plan of how things SHOULD go during my day.
When it does not, I stress.
"damn...that person is not on the phone, I can't get the proofs done now, it will have to wait till Monday....but i want it NOW !!! arraggahhhhhhhhh.........."
Does it really matter that much ?
When I think about it: No. 

It is really the little boy inside me throwing a tantrum because things didn't go his way,
Perhaps a sign that it's time to take care of that little one ? (NB: take care not spoil, not distract, not belittle...)

So now, today I'm going to let things flow... I won't stress about "will I get everything done?" I will simply go step by step and enjoy each step, not rushing in a mad hurry in case I don't get the list of things I "have to do" done..... lets see how I go by the end of the day.

- Just got an email asking me to do something - how do I react ? 
  do I trust life ?
  do I react positively or negatively ?
  I trust that the time will be there and I will do it when it is the next 'right step' ....

- will I go into the day like a bulldozer with an iron will determined to achive ABC....XYZ in exactly THAT order? I might succeed, but how will I feel at the end ? (written 11:00 hours in Melbourne).

How did the experiment go? 
21:00 hours same day: in the afternoon unexpectedly a friend 'M' called, reminded me about wanting to swap podcast files, met up  with other old mates. Suddenly an opportunity opened up for 'M' to deliver Chi-plates for me to BKK  the next day and I have to get them ready tonight, drive 230KM round trip to drop some stuff off, come back to Melbourne, drive friend 'M' to the airport the next day etc...
        - none of this was planned like that that - I had wondered how to get the Chi-plates delivered.  I'm going to be super busy but it worked out :-) ... now to make the final set of  Chi-plates  and then drive 115+115Km drop a car load of stuff and get back by 11am tomorrow morning .... he he he ....

So......... on with the experiment for this day... the one foot after the other experiment.....