Friday, April 29, 2011

doubt = the serpent

I read once: doubt was the serpent in the garden of Eden, not sexuality.
if no doubt: I would feel, trust  my feeling and do it...

mind comes in and says...ah....yes..... but are you sure.... ?
maybe it is like this instead.... ?
or like that ????

Thursday, April 28, 2011

inspire me inspire me - I need another fix

inspire me oh ye gurus of the past, 
lift up my soul,
make me feel better, 

Let me climb on your shoulders and pretend...
to enjoy the  view from your lofty heights.

When all is said and done.... 
your inspiration is just another fix.... 
a shot in my pin pricked arm... 


your inspiration another item on a long list of  "should do this and should dooo that.... " 
Like the morning after
it makes the way seem longer
and the road much harder.... 

why not be honest and tell me, 
it's hard, 
damn hard, 
blood sweat and tears you  require, 
to reach the heights you aspire. 
No shortcuts there are, 
no bus or fast car,
just face it buster
and your courage do muster.... 

But no, you give me dreams instead,
You goad me with hopes, and you  turn my head, 
with promise of insight 
and nirvanas in the night 
-  just around the next corner you say
Just a round the corner you pray

Just around the next corner,
or perhaps the last one you have just accomplished,
is the treasure you have been seeking all of your lives.
You do not have to begin a lengthy and far-reaching search,
for the treasure resides exactly where you are,
in the Divine aspects of your true Self
in this very moment of eternity.

So please, dear ones, put down your shovels and spades
and call off the back hoe of extreme and desperate effort.
All you will ever need is with you now. All that you have
ever sought awaits you in your own true hearts. - by Emmanuel
it can't be that simple,
It can't be that nice, 
there must be some tricks
and cracks in the ice.

I'll just keep on digging, 
with shovel and spade.... 
bring in the dozers, 
and excavate the hate.... 

with luck I might find 
that I've reached the core, 
only to find myself standing 
on another lost shore, 

and like the rabbit 
that races the tortoise 
my efforts in  vain, 
because really, 
it's all a totally different game.
The journey is no more
than a breath in time,
no more than a heartbeat
in distance.
Come home to your Selves. - by "Emmanuel"

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

words are just words - trust is trust

Words are just words. 
In the end they ask you to trust something, someone... 
Words are just the sheepdogs herding us to somewhere. 

Why not trust myself ?

In the end: you gotta trust someone. 

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

running from myself

Yangon/Rangoon 2010

Looking at myself I realize: I've been afraid of myself.
I have always looked or an outside  reason for the decisions I made.

"I'm doing this for ...........her, ..............him, .............because it is best......because it is RIGHT ....etc"
all those things are good reasons.
Those reasons are good enough to do things for. Most of our lives are based on those reasons.
e.g. STaying in a job to feed the family... is a " good " responsible thing... no doubt about it. I'm not saying I should NOT do it. It's good. There is a moral imperative. I don't have to face the deeper things. (There is still a question of faith,  trust, alternative jobs, facing things as a family etc... but lets leave that one aside for the moment)

What about true CHOICES, that are purely choices ?
I'm not talking about moral choices here. I'm talking about CHOICES where it is just MY choice. 
In those situations I still  look for reasons for what I do OUTSIDE of myself.
And I understand now: I am doing that because I'm scared of the strange feeling of total freedom to BE who I AM.
I am afraid to decide something simply because of who I AM.
No outside reasons.
No should's
No ought's
Just ME.
That is scary.

And liberating.

Mind demands a reason, a right and a wrong.
Mind demands a good and a bad.
I seek refuge in those things

But there is a part of me that does not demand any of those things.... . There is a part of me that wants to CHOOSE and BE simply because... simply becausee.... without a reason, simply because I CHOOSE.
No reason, Just because of who  I AM.
That is what I want to do, and what I have run from all my life....

I wonder WHAT that is ? It is a different energy. 
That pure BEing and choosing by who I AM is so scary because it is 
- un familiar
- a new way to BEing
- FEELS strange...

Saturday, April 16, 2011

you MUST !!! - VS respect

As some of you
will evolve in your lives to be healers,
let me remind you that there are some souls
that do not wish to be healed.  

"You must be healed."
is so often the message that is given
with the healing.
No, they must not be healed.
Only if they want to.
And you are not the authority on that.
Do not inflict your will.

Just give love.
The soul will take that love
and put it where it can best be used.
                           --- from Emmanuel's Book, p166

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

love the imperfection

Saigon La Fenetre Soleil Apr111
your less evolved areas have a right to be.
THey whisper of things past.
They whisper of confusion, of unfulfillment
and of the pain of the soul separated from its God
and the longing for that ONEness again.

Realize that on this earth
there can only be relative perfection.
Realize  too that you do not need to be perfect
to be loved. Love each other in your imperfections,
tenderly and completely. Be gentle with yourselves.
The demand for perfection on the physical plane
can be your worst enemy.

To insist on perfection precludes growth.
To accept imperfection as part of your humanness
is to grow
If you can love the part of you that you think
is imperfect
then the act of transformation can begin.
When you judget it and throw it out of your heart
it becomes a hardened shell the blocks the Light.

If you deny what is your nature
you become deeply attached to that denial.
When you accept what is there, in its truth,
then you are released.
One does not release through rejection.
One releases through love.

---------- 0 -------------
to stive for light is a beautiful calling
but you cannot find the Light
until you acknowledge the darkness.
SOuls who strive in perfect yearning
are as close to perfection
as anyone in human form can be.
Who you are is a necessary step
to being who you will be, ans so it goes
through eternity.

Be comfortable but not complacent
with your imperfections.

Who demands pefection ?
Only your souls who are locked in human form
believe somehow that perfection is the requirement.
It is not.
The requirement is sincerity,
an open heart.
That is the perfection that is demanded, -
the perfect longing.
from Emmanuel

Saturday, April 09, 2011

emotional wheelchairs

When a toddler learns to walk she takes a few steps and then falls and gets up and tries again and falls and cries and then tries again, because what can she do ? 

Stop trying and never learn to walk ? go around in a wheel chair because she is too scared to fall again ? 

Kids and toddlers have more sense than that. 

Only clever adults drive around in emotional wheelchairs because they are afraid to fall - again.

- written from an emotional wheelchair :-)