Wednesday, May 18, 2016

when fear strikes -- it speaks with forked tongue

when I'm afraid of something, I think it's the thing I'm afraid of, which is the problem. 

But it's not. 

Fear, itself, the feeling of fear is the problem, not the person, not the situation, not the thing (unless it happens to be a hungry Tiger on the footpath :-)  - That's a different kind of fear... ) 

Fear says: "hey this person, Hey this new idea, they are the problem ! 
Fight them, and you will be free of fear! 
Is it a deal ?" 

And if I fight in order to be free of fear, am I not really just fighting to feel different? fighting for myself ?
I don't even 'see' the person, the idea, I'm afraid of, I'm just fighting to 'feel better'. 

I haven't left myself, no matter what beautiful reasons I tell others to justify my fight. 

Fear is a liar.
One I too often believe.....

Wednesday, May 11, 2016

why is mindful so hard ?

When I try to be mindfullness, I usually lose it within ten to twenty seconds....

Why is being mnidful so hard ?
I don't need convincing that it's a good idea.
I just don't make it for more than 20 seconds, or a minute.

"Ah Grasshopper, it is like meditation, you need to bring the 'monkey mind' back to the moment, gently without judgement and just continue to meditate."

Hmm.... yes, master, that's what I've been thinking too, BUT.... BUT... I thnk there is more to it than that.

When we are being mindful  we often try to hold a fixed posture.
We assume that being mindful is a static fixed way to hold our mind and feelings like holiding a fixed posture in our body.
We can't do that, just as we can't hold a physical posture for a long time.
We are made for motion and movement.

"Good point grasshopper,..."

what if mindfulness is switching our mood, our level of awareness, our .... how to say it, ... 'register' or 'octave' ?
We don't even have good words to describe changing our mode of consciousness that makes it something that is sustainable for the whole day, not just for 20 seconds.

Unless I change 'mode'  or 'mood' or however you put it, .... unless I do that, being mindful is just ONE MORE THING TO  DO  in my already busy and stressfull life.
I just pile on another straw onto the overloaded camel.

So being mndful for a whole day, without draining myself, without criticising myself for not being mindful, has to do with  entering a different mode of operation.

Sometimes you get nto a very gentle, relaxed  mode, and still get things done.


How do you get there ?

Personally I  try and remember that state, and I try to hold onto it, enter into it.
Whatever I'm doing I try to feel that state, and pull it towards me.
Maybe that's how it work?
I don't know.
I guess there is no fixed formula. It's not like a catching a train: get on here and get off there..
It's a different path for everyone.

That doesn't really help much does it ?

"It helps grasshopper, it helps.
Actually that is what I end up doing, I drop into a different 'mode' as you put it.
But I never thought of it like that.
I just tried and tried and tried and somehow one day I popped into a different mode, for longer and longer each time....

So I guess I  left the static posture idea, but I  didn't think of it like that.
You put it very well."

I would give up if I didn't find this way of seeing it, master.

"Ah, you young folk, always ready to give up."

Ah master, you old folk, you lived in in a world where you could spend years, mastering awareness and mindfulness, finially entering a different level of awareness and acquiring the abiilty to move your consciousness into different levels.

"Yes we did, you are right.
And that world is goine. ☺"

Now I know about changing 'mode' of being, I know what to look for during the day......
Wish me luck ...:-0