Saturday, January 22, 2011

choosing our lifetime

YY said: Nobody knows where they have to go and which new body they will get in next life.

HR:  the secret is: WE decide ourselves where we are born and how and when.

It is a bit hard to understand but let me try to make it clearer.

When you are studying something, a language, maths, medical anatomy ...whatever, have you ever felt that there was some weakness in your studies, and you needed to practice it to get better ?
Perhaps it was something you really wanted to able to do but you were scared to do it?
Can you think of a situation like that ?

For me I once felt I really wanted to do electronic engineering, it fascinated me it scared me, I was afraid, I would not be smart enough.
At high school everyone thought I would be an engineer, they all thought I was smart enough. But I was scared, I chose to do a simpler course at High School, because I was afraid of the maths.

After 6 years of doing things I was NOT good at, and didn't really like or want to do, I realized: I really HAD to try to do this thing, I really wanted to do the maths, I had to face it and do it.

So I faced it. At age 27, I did the last year of high school again, doing a more difficult maths.
I studied like crazy, I got very good marks. I was surprised.
All I wanted to do was NOT to fail.
I was so so scared of failing.

I went to University to do engineering at age 28, and I was really scared really scared of failing.
I worked like crazy.
I got the medal as top student of the University, the top prize.
I was surprised.

How does this relate to choosing your life, where you are born and what parents and country and race you are ?
I decided to face my fear of maths and failure and forced myself to do something I had successfully avoided.
In the same way I look at everyone who is born as courageous souls who decided to seek the light in the darkness inside them. (or something like that.)

The same: our core, the really deep deep part of us, knows what we want and it decides "I really want to learn this, this and that...." I need to face my fear here and I need to deal with this and that in myself. I need to overcome a fear here and misconception there and once I do my life will open up to give me the next steps..."

.....and so in a place beyond time and space we focus on the right environment, that teaches us,
We decide this with others, on that other level.

Life is NOT  punishment,
Life on earth is not second rate to some other place.
I don't want to escape this life, I'm here to learn, just as I would go to University and learn, (can be fun, can be stressful, but depends on the student and his teachers).
I'll go 'home' and review my lessons and then come back for more.
In one sense, we are all strangers in a strange land. The ultimate travellers between a place of no time and no space, to a place of space and time, and back again.....

I enrolled myself in this life, I chose to put in some tough things to overcome and work on (relationships, old fears, old scars, special talents encrypted till a certain age... etc...)
I think whatever I get in this life, on that other higher level I wanted it. Our soul deep down knows what it wants, there  are no stuff ups, not mistakes.
Of course the human personality in me find things hard, scary, and wants to avoid and run from them., but that is no surprise: I'm are here to deal with things I'm afraid to face. So of course it will be tough at times.
Else I'm not really learning anything.

There is little point going to primary school to learn the ABC if you are a genius in writing.
My lessons are cleverly set out by my higher self before birth, the exact nature of them is not set in concrete, but the basic gist of them is.
And since there is no time as we  know it (not linear time anyway) we have all eternity. But while I'm here, I am bound to the local customs and culture of this world, and time DOES matter.. (sort of). :-)
When in Rome do as the Romans do, when in human form, do as humans do... he he he

Life on earth is a schoolroom, we are here to learn.
sounds too simple does it not?
I guess saying it like that is too simple. It is glib and simplistic, too simple yes, I agree. I dislike such simple things trotted out in response to deep painful hurt  and questioning by someone.
But all I really want to say here is: we chose it.
It is good to be here.
Trying to escape into stuff, makes it harder.
Even trying to escape into "enlightenment" can be an escape.
Where am I afraid ? there is my lesson.
Where will I never ever accept something ?

There is the hard parts that need softening in love.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011

The continental - Saigon.

It's evening twilight. I just got back from work on the back of a motorcycle taxi. 
I'm in the Continental hotel, in a room in the first floor overlooking the inner courtyard.
 Low key piano music whafts in through my window. A man sings songs of missing his lady into a microphone. Tonight's wedding reception is about to start.
Frangipani trees in the courtyard reach right up to my balcony.
Heiko sits by his laptop writing emails.

There is a feeling of safety being the middle of an old building like this. The ceilings are high and the furniture old, solid wood. I've lit a candle. Saxophone music snakes its way around the place.
It feels like being safely tucked away into bed. A new life and a new place, a new city. 

Graham Greene wrote "the Quiet American" here. Wars, changes of regime, tanks, revolutions, all swept through this place.

For a moment I feel I'm in the 1940's in a distant time, when life and culture was so different. What changes this hotel must have seen since 1880.
And now little Heiko sits here, for a few days, one of the thousands of people to pass through this room. Heiko thinks his problems are so so so important, but in 5 years, who cares ? Not even Heiko will care then...
Life is strange...
- "Pantha Rei"(everything flows) life will change drastically and this moment pass into memory. So enjoy every moment....

...and it might seem decadent in a time of floods and crisis in Australia, for me to sit her in such a place in Saigon and enjoy it like this.

best wishes from Saigon.

'dance me to the children who are asking to be born....'  - Leonard Cohen 

Sometimes the threads on the loom suggest the picture to come.

Then we know that our children-to-be Hope for us in the Bardo.

For them we weave until our arms grow tired.
                -- The years of Rice and Salt - by Kim Stanley Robinson

...from this broken hill I will sing to you...if it be your will - L.Cohen.

"finally making it and getting there" - Alan Watts

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