Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Meditation on limitations.

I have run out of space in my house and in my office.
I need a bigger house, more spacious office.
I have run out of time, I need more time.
I have run out of energy, I need more energy.
let me think for a moment, what is going on here ?
I hear all around me the refrain:
do more, with less. Work smarter.
get more done.
get more efficient.
achive more than others in the same time.
Get more.
but no matter how much better we get, how much more efficient, at some point,
there is always SOME point,
there is a limit.
one day I will reach it.
I might get a bigger house, but then the stuff adds up, and the inevitable happens:
I have to cope with the limitation of space.
eventually it will come.
I might get better at managing my time get MUCH more done.
then the boss gives me more to do.
I get more efficient
but at some point: there is a limit.
I will have to say: That's it, enough.
the question is: will I touch down on those limits gently like a bird landing,
or slam into them at full speed ?
limits will come.
my lifetime is limited.
it gives meaning to things, makes me choose.
one day I will leave this planet and my spirit will look back and wonder.
what did I do ?
sure, get more efficient, get more done, so you have time for other positive things.
not just so you get more done, so you get more done so you get more done, so you get more done.

sure sometimes you need to work harder, sometimes less hard.
there is a season to all things.
there is also a limit to all things.
the limit will come to me at some point, so I may as well embrace it while I have a choice.
Before I slam into it full speed.
So I don't get a bigger house, I learn to live with what I have.
I don't get a bigger office, I learn to work with what I have.
should I have children then a bigger house ? maybe ?
or maybe they have to learn to live with limits.
but it's hard. I want to keep working on this meditation,
my body needs sleep.
00:15 hours

28May09 05:05hours
Strange new addition came to me tonight:
Time, time on this earth is another limit.
Carlos Castaneda calls that limit the warrior's best adviser.

Truly doing worthwhile things, adventure and risk and secret missions.

I'm almost 50, no need to save myself, whatever I don’t risk won’t be done ---

whatever I don’t do now, won’t be done.

Like my blog “meditation on Limits”: Strange feeling, to know that one day I have to cross over to the other side, and that there is no point to “save myself”, therefor it is time to risk it all.

If I don’t risk it voluntarily it will be taken sooner or later anyway... So better make it count.

That or cower in a corner in fear... till the time comes anyway...

Like the Lady Quohaim in the story, who crosses the flames and the abyss in the sea temple of Uraia, there is virtue in “dying”(in a sense) early, and voluntarily, and not be forced later...

“Risk it all to gain it all --- and loose it all to find it all.”

May god grant this is real and not just talk.

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