"Your create your own reality"

I hear this a lot these days and it did not really make sense until I thought about it a bit deeper.
On the surface it sounds silly: Ok let me think about being wildly successful and rich, - kapow... I wave my 'you create your own reality' wand and there I am, a famous author, speaking around the world, writing books, giving workshops etc.... .
Well not quite. Because deep down I don't believe that kind of scenario. It simply does not feel right, does not
'gell' for me. Similarly all those
'think rich and you'll be rich' things, they might be right for others, but they don't resonate with me, deep deep down I feel I'm just faking it.
But then when I took it a few levels deeper it seemed to make more sense.
When I look back on my life I find that I somehow seem to end up in the same - or similar - situations. I don't mean to do it deliberately, but it kind of just turns out that way.
In my case I tend to be the 'outsider' the 'maverick' the 'clever-and-knowledgeable-dude-who-is-treated-unjustly'.
After a bit more introspection and soul searching I realized, that on some deep level I felt more at home in that role. I felt this was my place, the place I belonged, where I would naturally gravitate towards.
In other words: my Core Being was calling out and magnetically aligning the iron filings of my life to cast me into the role i was most comfortable in.
At that level, I can accept that i DO create my life situation (lessons).
It also shows me just how powerful the Core of me Being really is.
But that deep Core Being inside me, I cannot simply change it at a whim. It is strong, deep, heavy, and powerful.
My momentary, mental whim is but a small aspect of the core. It would be like trying to change the path of the Earth by jumping up and down.
So how do i change it ?
Just by trying ? - well yea, that's a good start, but not enough.
Then I remembered all the books I'd read, the long conversations I'd had about
'inner work'.
Ok now I get it.
To change my Core Being I need to work at the level of the Core Being.
The Core Being is ME, is the CORE of ME.
The only way I can see to change that, to change myself, is to grow, to evolve, to transform, to take the next steps from within the Core Being and move forward.

This is very much how a seed grows. You can't change the acorn seed into an Oak tree by force of will or decision, you let it unfold its own inner Core Being, its very essence and nature.
And then you get an Oak Tree.
This is a slow, long process.
I've not made any great changes yet.
But it is a lifetime's work.... step by step by step, by step, by ste..., be st...., by s....., by ......, .b......, ....... ;
5Aug09